Be still.

I am a busy person. I love looking forward to things. I love planning or being spontaneous, as long as I’m going, I’m happy. I enjoy crossing things off of my to-do list knowing when I’ve finished, I can get ready for date night or pack my bags for a weekend trip. I simply thrive when I am working towards something or in a productive state of mind.

I’ve always been the girl that feels like when my body is in motion, it stays in motion. Once I slow down, I struggle to get back up.

But now, there is no “busy”. There are no spontaneous weekend trips. There’s no getting dressed up and going out for date night. There are no boat days or beach days. No happy hour with friends. There isn’t Sunday church or brunch. No gatherings. No one is walking around downtown. We are unsure of how long we will even be in this situation, so to be honest…there really is no planning either. We can look forward to the day this is over, sure. We can look forward to what we will do. But what about in the mean time? What about while we are sitting in our homes? When we have walked the same path every day for three weeks? Finished multiple series on Netflix, including rewatching the office? What do we do now?

I’ve been restless every night for the last week. Tossing, turning, no matter how tired I am…I cannot sleep. So last night, as I was laying there for over an hour. After I had already scrolled through Pinterest and scrolled through IG, after I said my fair share of prayers…I laid there. I let out a big sigh of frustration. Kicked my feet like a three year old for a few seconds, seriously, at this point…I have no shame. Then I just breathed.

That was when it hit me. I’ve known there was greater good in all of this chaos. I knew there was peace in it. Even when I couldn’t feel it. I knew there was a bigger picture and more to focus on. But for some reason, after I had my little fit. I realized this moment in our lives, is about just learning to BE. It’s about being present. Being still. Being with loved ones. Being HOME. Being in the moment. It’s bringing back family time and appreciating what we have. It’s forcing us to find the happiness in simple things again.

It’s pushing us to stop rushing to the next part of our life. Stop comparing what we are doing, to everyone else because now look! Almost ALL of us are doing the same thing. To be honest, when this is over, there WILL be moments where we actually miss having nothing to do. Moments when we miss having no choice but to be home with our loved ones. Cooking next to them. Listening to music. Dancing in the kitchen. Taking walks. Holding hands. Reconnecting. We will miss when there are no distractions.

It doesn’t mean that all of a sudden everything is easier. It doesn’t mean if you come to the realization to just be present and stop racing to the end, you’re all of a sudden good to go. Truth is, you won’t be. The situation is nothing short of crappy for so many of us on all different levels. It’s going to be a roller coaster for a while but one that we are all in together.

I challenge you to sit down and breathe. Find peace in what is right now. Have faith. Try to find something positive that has come from this. There ARE positives. focus on them. Most importantly, BE STILL.

-MK

Other people are not your project.

” If you’re looking for a project, get a car to fix up.”

A friend of mine said this while we were having a conversation about friendships + relationships the other day- and its been stuck in my head since.

To be honest, I wish someone had said this to me two years ago…even though I probably would have just smiled and agreed. I sure could have used the perspective though.

I’m all for putting other people first and doing whatever I can to make someone happy and feel loved. Honestly we probably all know that feeling anything less, sucks. For me, when I care about something or someone, I’m all in. There is no in-between and with that, I face a struggle with letting things be sometimes. I pour my heart into something I want and I’ll usually take every challenge that comes along with it. But, you can’t fix everything- and you certainly cannot fix other people.

I always try to see the good in people. I can justify someones actions even when they are repetitive and have no solid ground to be excused, let alone forgiven. I give the benefit of the doubt, over and over. It’s just who I am.

Really, I just hold onto this hope that “I can make it better” or “It’ll get better”.

Truth is though, I can’t and chances are, it won’t get better. And once I come to that realization, I hardly view it as a “them” problem. I take the blame. I put it on myself, that I wasn’t worth it, I couldn’t do enough. I didn’t care enough or try hard enough. I will pick apart every situation and wonder “what could I have done different?“, “how could I have gotten through to them?“, when the issue was never about me in the first place.

Over the last couple years, I’ve had a lot of life lessons to face. A lot of self growth. A lot of finding myself and accepting things for what they were. But the biggest thing I’ve learned, is that you simply can’t make everything better…and that’s okay. It doesn’t always matter how hard you try or how much heart and effort you put into something – it isn’t up to us to fix everything. The only thing we have control over, is ourselves. The only thing we can change, are our own choices. For me, learning to accept that has been a challenge but it has also been a complete blessing.

I’ve come to understand that people are capable of change and growth but only when it’s worth it to them. Only when they are ready. This goes for family members, friends, significant others, all of them. It applies to everyone.

We become better, when we truly want to. We make things right, when it matters to us. When the desire is there. Whether it’s because something worth it, is standing in front of us and it wakes us up, we lose something special or we finally accept our own toxic traits that have been holding us back (and yes, we ALL have them). But other people, are not OUR project. We cannot force someone to grow and change. It isn’t our place and when we find ourselves tangled in this web, it’s hard to get out of.

So, if you’re looking for a project, make it you, not someone else. Put yourself first. Put your mental and physical health first. Your goals and your dreams.

Don’t bear the weight of trying to fix someone else.

-MC

I’m Marilyn, nice to meet you!

Hey there!

I’m Marilyn Colwell. A Carolina girl who loves Jesus + being a wife more than words can describe. I’m a PreK teacher, small business owner, and blogger. Here you can shop all of my daily looks, favorite product finds, gift guides, and more. You can also find various blog posts about life, travel, and more! Be sure to follow me on the LTK app as well as instagram @marilyncolwell_ + Pinterest @withlove_mc Thanks so much for stopping by!

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
Because it will help you focus your own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
What topics do you think you’ll write about?
Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.