Loving someone with an overthinking mind is nothing short of a challenge. It takes a big heart, a lot of strength and more patience than most could imagine.
We know it isn’t easy.
A mind that is constantly picking things apart, can allow us to be more attentive. It can allow us to care and love deeper simply because of our attention to detail. It can be great but it can also stir up unwanted anxiety, add tension where there doesn’t need to be tension and jeopardize something beautiful. It allows us to pick up on the slightest change in tone, conversation, actions, simple behavior and demeanor. Things commonly overlooked or things that genuinely, are harmless and usually would go unnoticed.
We focus on all of the details, big and small. We usually are sure to cross t’s and dot i’s, assuring ourselves that we have a full understanding on things. We over analyze and can quickly turn nothing into something, without even trying. Sometimes we need reassurance, over and over again. Even if you’ve given us no reason to need it. We can ask a simple question and even with the perfect answer, have a spider-web of new questions that really mean the same thing.
It isn’t easy. It’s frustrating. Not only for those on the receiving end of it, but for us as well. The spider-web’s are far from a walk in the park and although we might try and brush them off as if they were nothing, deep down, they can weigh on our hearts and our minds for quite some time. So trust me, we know it’s frustrating.
It creates almost a constant battle with keeping our mouths shut and saying what we so desperately are trying not to simply because we know that we don’t really need to. Truth is, sometimes the thoughts will just stop if we can say what we are thinking. We know it might sound ridiculous. We know you might have answered the question three times already and believe me, we are sorry. After all, you most likely, have done nothing to spark the question in the first place. Chances are, we heard something on TV, had a conversation with a friend or just weren’t occupying ourselves at the time.
Realistically, our “busy” minds tend to wander for a variety of reasons but our thoughts usually stem off of things we can relate to. Maybe from a time that we were let down, lied to, hurt. A time that we’ve put ourselves out there and put all of our trust in someone just to have it wasted. From a moment when we had to learn that not everyone has the hearts we do or the thought process we do. Not everyone is thinking about us first or at all and the hard truth that not everyone has our best interest in mind. But we can’t help but focus on others first.
That isn’t for a pat on the back. That isn’t so you “owe” us anything or so we are a “better” person. An over-thinking mind just usually allows you to simply put others first. We don’t want to allow someone to feel a way we wouldn’t want to, especially if we have felt it before. We tend to be more lenient, more go with the flow. Sure, we still have our wants and needs and trust me, they are still important. But we know how to allow others to be just as happy and usually, others happiness makes us happy because we care and love with everything we have.
It takes a lot. But I can promise you, it’s worth it. I can promise you that there will be more happy moments than frustrating. You can rest assure, hurting you isn’t on our agenda. Letting you feel unloved or unwanted, isn’t something we want to happen. Truth is, loving you is all we want to do and all we want in return, is for you to love us.
-MC
Marilyn Colwell 