Last week after seeing one of my fave influencer/bloggers share the, “Be Still 90 Devotions for the Hopeful Heat” by Cleere Cherry, I decided to hop on Amazon and order one for myself. Spoiler alert, Best $13 I have ever spent and I absolutely love it.
Truth be told, I didn’t grow up going to Sunday school or church every week like most. While my parents always encouraged me to find my faith and my beliefs, they wanted me to be true to myself and follow my heart. End of the day, we just weren’t traditional in that aspect. Sometimes, I wish we would have been but I take pride that even without it, I was able to seek my own path without anyone telling me “this is what you’re supposed to do”. Even though I can’t recite the Bible and there is plenty I don’t entirely understand, it’s okay. I know I have my faith and that alone brings me so much peace in my life.
The devotion I read today was based on Grief. Whenever I hear the word grief, I automatically think of someone passing away. I’m not sure exactly why, thats just where my mind goes. However, this devotion focused on the fact grief comes in many different forms. It can be letting go of a relationship thats turned toxic, financial hardships, divorce, facing our own actions that led to an upsetting outcome and so on. It was a reminder that we ALL go through these things in life. We all face struggles. Heartbreak. Upsets. We all make mistakes. Many times when these things happen though, we immediately start asking “why?”. Why me? Why now? What have I done to deserve this?
Just over a year ago, I hit a pretty low point in my life and now it’s something I actually love sharing and talking about. I felt like I was the one constantly asking myself “why me?”. Every day there seemed to be something going wrong. There was so much happening and while in the moment it felt nothing but horrible and gut-wrenching, I realize now, it was just God clearing some paths and I am so grateful He did. While my world may have felt like it was crumbling, I can look back and remember how often I actually did pray through those times. Without even thinking about it. How often I asked…actually begged God for help and guidance. Before I even knew it, the storm cleared and honestly, I was fine. I felt so much more confident. So much stronger than I had before.
Things weren’t perfect still but I was finding more and more peace, every day. I was finding happiness in simple things again. I was taking deeper breaths and starting to slow down. My mind wasn’t as foggy and things made so much more sense. I started to see peoples true colors versus the picture I was trying to paint. I was doing new things and focusing on myself first. I came to terms that the low point was just a piece of my journey that I had to pass through. It was a struggle to accept that it wasn’t where I was meant to be and no matter what I did to try and change that, it wasn’t in my hands. It was never in my hands. I simply did not belong there. There was a reason things kept happening and I truly do not think I can express, just how grateful I am for that. While I felt so much grief through those moments, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I just had to have faith and hang on.
As we go through life, grief is something we just have to deal with sometimes. It stops us in our track. It might turn our world upside down. But having a hopeful heart and having faith that God is always with us, can always get us through.
-MC
Marilyn Colwell 